Longing to be With You
by McAddicted
Summary: A one-shot with Meredith and Derek sleeping apart...having phone sex...


**So I came across this little one-shot that I wrote some time ago, and thought I would share it with you here. It was inspired by the times when Meredith and Derek were kind of on again/off again, having sex but not sleeping together...when she wanted space. So a sleepless night for them apart leads to phone sex...enjoy...**

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_And I have the sense to recognize that  
I don't know how to let you go  
every moment marked  
with apparitions of your soul  
I'm ever swiftly moving  
trying to escape this desire  
the yearning to be near you  
I do what I have to do  
the yearning to be near you  
I do what I have to do  
but I have the sense to recognize_

_that I don't know how  
to let you go  
I don't know how  
to let you go  
_  
*Lyrics from 'Do What You Have to Do' by Sarah McLachlan*

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Derek rolled over and punched the pillow again, with a groan of frustration, then flopped onto his back. Rain pounded down on the roof, and wind rattled the sides of his trailer. It should be a good night to be in bed, but it was useless, he couldn't sleep. It was 2:42 a.m., and he was wide awake – he should be bone tired, after back to back surgeries that kept him busy all day. But he missed Meredith, missed her body tucked in against him, her hair tickling his nose. Hell, he even missed her snoring.

They were in that damn cycle of their on-again, off-again relationship, and this week they were off. And she was being adamant about sleeping in her own bed - alone. He tried to understand her point of view, but it was difficult. He wanted to share a bed with her, every night, no matter what. Even if they argued, he wanted to be with her. He wanted to be wrapped around her, tangled up in her, sleeping with her. And having wildly enthusiastic sex with her...

He threw off the sheets, and padded out to the tiny kitchen. He looked into the fridge, and saw nothing that appealed to him, so he grabbed a glass and poured a shot of Scotch. Maybe alcohol would help. He stared out the window, remembering some of the nights when he and Meredith had started their relationship. Long nights of hot, mind blowing sex, leaving them exhausted, falling asleep not long before the alarm jolted them awake. Leaving them so tired the next day, he often needed eye drops to clear the bloodshot appearance away, catching Meredith yawning as she presented during rounds. She had always looked so adorably sleepy, but they were being sneaky then, and he couldn't even tease her about it. It had all seemed like so much fun back then, before things got crazy and Addison showed up.

He sighed a little. That was what he needed right now, to be sexually sated, lost in her embrace, but Meredith wasn't here. Rubbing his jaw, he wandered back to bed, hitching up the faded pajama bottoms as he went. They were so thin in spots they were almost transparent, but they were comfy and he was alone, so what did it matter? He picked up his cell phone and dropped onto the bed, sipping the drink and staring at the phone.

He should call Meredith, see if she was okay – she'd been having trouble with her Dad lately, arguing and bickering. But no, she hated it when he hovered. He raked a hand through his unruly hair in annoyance. Being a male in the 21st century was damn difficult, he mused. Don't hover, don't worry, don't be too demanding – sleep alone...crap...

But he put his hand on the phone anyway, and suddenly it vibrated under his fingertips. He flipped it open quickly, a grin on his lips. "Hey, sweetheart..."

"You're awake..."

"I can't sleep without you – you've ruined me," he teased her, leaning back, his head cushioned against his free arm.

"I can't sleep either," she confessed, her voice warm as honey.

"You should be here then..."

"Derek..."

"Honey, admit it, you sleep better when we're together, my arm around you…"

Meredith sighed in his ear. "Or we don't sleep at all – we have sex..."

"Mind blowing, fantastic, screaming sex, baby," he growled, his cock starting to pay attention. "Admit it."

She laughed seductively. "All right, I admit it...but it's almost 3:00 a.m., and I'm not driving out there now...not when we have to be up in two hours..."

"Don't you remember all the nights we made love until almost dawn?" he asked softly. "Screaming hot sex that kept Izzie and George awake? Rattling the headboard until it nearly fell apart...?"

"Yeah," she replied, a little smile in her voice.

"And now you're making me suffer with this massive hard on?" he added, reaching for the glass. The rich aroma of the Scotch swirled and rose to his nostrils before he drank.

"Massive... that sounds painful..." she whispered playfully.

"It is...very painful..." Derek assured her.

"Are you naked?"

"No...what's the point? You're not here...but I could be..." he replied, keeping his voice low and sensual. "Are you?"

"Noo...but I have just my Dartmouth shirt on...the one you like...and nothing else..."

Derek thought he could hear the rustle of her sheets as she moved, and he groaned. "You really know how to make me hot, don't you?"

"It's a gift..."

Derek downed the rest of the Scotch in one gulp, feeling it burn through him, rich and potent. "So...what would you do to take care of me if you were here?" he asked lazily.

"Hmmm...I would start by pulling apart the tie on those ratty old pajama pants...yes I know which ones you're wearing, Der... pulling it open and pushing them down your hips...that makes me pretty hot, thinking about that..." Meredith paused. "Thinking of your hands on me too..."

"You are so good at this…I can just imagine the feel of your hands too…" he told her, undoing the tie quickly, easing them off as he juggled the phone.

"And the way you feel against me..." Her voice wound sinuously in his ear, and he ached for her. "That big cock of yours against my pussy...are you really so hard and big right now?"

"God yes...would I lie about that?" he laughed. "Are you all wet and warm? I love the way you taste when you're like that...so sweet..."

"Touch your cock, Derek...tell me you are..." she urged him.

Derek's hand slid over his cock, stroking himself as her words aroused him. "Yes, baby, I am...now touch yourself...those nipples are hard aren't they... poking against the shirt..."

Meredith moaned softly, and he envisioned the soft shirt riding up over her chest, her skin creamy in the moonlight. "Yes..." she whispered. A little whimper rose in her throat as she rolled her fingers over the erect, sensitive nipples.

"Good..." Derek tucked the phone under his ear, his hips lifting as he pulled on his cock again, picturing the way her fingers would be touching herself. "I always want to devour you, starting with that soft little spot on your throat, where I can feel your pulse beating. And then kissing your beautiful breasts, and tasting those hard nipples – touch them for me now, Mer…." He could hear the soft intake of her breath, the little gasp of pleasure that told him she was touching herself. "You would let yourself open to my tongue, and I can lick the sweet trickle of your juice that is there..."

Meredith let her legs fall apart, her fingers now on the moist warmth of her aching pussy. She slipped a finger along the slick flesh, little sounds of pleasure escaping her.

"Yes baby, you are so wet now too, aren't you? My tongue could be driving deep into you, my fingers on your clit. I want to be doing that to you right now."

"Oh god...I want that too..." she sighed.

"So, baby...think of my cock sliding into your pussy...filling you up..."

Meredith's hand slid lower, across the clit that begged for attention. "Ohhh...I want you so bad, your tongue and your cock both...you make me feel so good, Derek...mm…."

Derek closed his eyes, pleasure flooding his veins, as he listened to her breathing coming faster and faster. "I want to be driving hard and deep into you, taking your breath away, feeling you so wet and soft around me, pulsing and squeezing..." He pumped a little faster, his voice deeper.

"God, yessss..." Meredith's fingers disappeared into the wet folds of her pussy, her hips arching to meet them. "You can make me come baby...ohhhh..." Sounds of bliss punctuated her words, and she almost let the phone slide away from her other hand as she imagined Derek over her, his lean strength pounding into her.

Derek's hips rose, and flexed, as he pumped himself. "Yes, Mer, c'mon honey...come for me, fuck me...my cock is in you, thrusting again and again..." He squeezed harder, thinking of her pussy pulsing around him, so wet...so hot...

"Yes, Der...yes...YES!" She screamed, her fingers sliding in and out until she came, her body damp with sweat, sliding against the sheets that tangled around her legs.

Derek's own climax spiked, and his release shot hot against his belly, as he groaned, spent and relieved, the beat of his heart pounding like a drum in his chest.

"Damn...damn..." he muttered, as he fell back against the pillow. "God, Mer..."

Meredith's breath was ragged, as she clutched the phone to her ear. "Oh, hell...Derek...I love you so much..."

"I love you too, baby..." he breathed, curling against the pillow, his eyes closed. "Please stay with me tomorrow night...this is insane...I need you with me..."

"I know.." she whispered, cradling the pillow in her own bed. "Tomorrow..."

"Good...good..." he murmured, feeling sleepy, and he yawned widely. "Tomorrow then...good night baby..."

"Night, Der..." she whispered, reluctant to hang up, connected to him, their breathing in sync, as her eyes fluttered shut.

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**And no, I don't own the characters...sadly...just borrowing them for our amusement...**


End file.
